Absolute (Discipline Book 1) Read online

  "Empathy anyway. He knew that I just faked that, which is impressive. Later?"

  That was for him, so he just nodded, not knowing what else to do at the moment.

  Chapter three

  The night was oddly fitful. For over a month, forty-two days, Ben had slept in real silence. In darkness so total that his vision still wasn't reacting correctly when he looked around the world. The new little cabin was loud however, even being off in the country, with decently thick walls made of solid wood. There was light as well, coming through the small windows of the place.

  The compound didn't go black at night, or at least not as early as he tried to climb into bed. A yellowish glow came through the glass, into his space. It was bright and annoying. Almost agitating to his very skin, which wasn't a thing he'd ever noticed before in his life.

  His entire life had been lived in the light. It wasn't a thing that he'd ever considered before, but there had always been something around him that produced a shine, twenty-four hours a day. The light from a monitor, or LED always allowed him to see, for instance. As a child he'd never called for a night light, or been afraid of the dark. Because it simply never was.

  Now he could feel the difference. The light pulled at him, and made it hard to rest. It pushed him to think, instead of focus. So he responded by tossing and turning, unable to become comfortable for some reason. It wasn't the mattress, which was fine enough. Firm, but shaping to his body as he rolled and started to sweat.

  It might have been the insects, crickets, or something like that, he thought. That kind of thing wasn't all that known to him, but the little buggers were loud. Distractingly so, in fact. Even with that, he knew it was really just him being too sensitive. He'd been so long in true darkness that the light almost hurt now. There had been so little sound that his brain had forgotten to block it all out. That skill would, eventually, come back. There was no real doubt about that.

  Still, it was a relief when dawn came, since that meant he could get himself up, and start on the day. Not that he knew what would be happening. It was five-thirty when he stood up, the light through the window so bright that he nearly recoiled from it like a vampire. Faking a smile, he made his bed, since the tiny space had nothing else in it. It was probably funny, or would look like he was being too careful, but the rumpled blanket and askew pillows were the only thing in the place that wasn't perfect. It made it worse somehow than if he was living in disarray all the time.

  Then, because there was no reason not to, he showered, and changed into a fresh gray outfit. He used the same slipper shoes from the day before, because they'd take a while to really form to his feet. He thought that was the case anyway. They weren't that expensive, but people that actually exercised a lot seemed to swear by them. The very fact that they had them in this place probably meant the ads were correct to that end. These didn't seem like people that would put up with crappy sub-standard things just because they were promised wonders.

  At six, almost exactly, if the clock on his bedside table could be trusted, there was a tap on his door. It was so gentle that he probably would have missed it if he were still resting. Or not. After all, he jumped when it happened, and moved at the door with a will, trying to cover for the fact that it had scared him a little. His brain knew that it was a soft tapping, but his heart translated it into a fearsome booming for some reason.

  He knew why, of course. He was still adjusting to having things around him again.

  When he pulled the smooth metal handle open, the face on the other side of the door wasn't Glenda, like he'd expected. It wasn't even Micha, or one of the others that he'd met so far. Instead it was an older man with steel gray hair, and lines around his eyes. Those were a rather compelling green however, that looked nearly fake they were so bright. Given what had been discussed that probably meant he'd been genetically modified, rather than wearing contacts. The man was also muscular, if in a fit looking way, rather than like a body builder.

  He was smiling however, and had a tray with food on it. His clothing looked more worn than what Ben had on, but was, otherwise, exactly the same.

  "Hello! Glenda was called away. Training matters, and not anything too serious. I thought that I'd come and let you know that myself. Plus make certain you eat. I believe we're going with cantaloupe today? It's fresh, so should be good." The tray in his hand had twice the food of each of the prior day’s meals, but it still wasn't a lot.

  Ben wasn't going to complain however. He might have been able to eat more, being half starved like he was, but Glenda had told him about the plan. He'd get a bit more food each day, and have fewer meals, until he was back to his new eating levels. Then, over the course of a few weeks, other things would be allowed each day, until a new pattern was established.

  After all, before that point he'd always just eaten what sounded good to him at the moment. That was almost never what was good for him. So far he hadn't eaten inside his cabin, which made sense, given that he didn't want mice, or bears, to come in following the food scents. That part was still very powerful. Everything smelled, including the man in front of him and the food.

  Ben looked at the front steps, hoping the man would get the basic idea.

  "Is it all right if I eat outside?"

  "Certainly. That's probably a good plan. Now..." There was a pause, and then a slow shifting of position. That part was very still, and seemed more than a little bit deadly. Glenda and really, all of the others, were kind of like that at times, if he were going to be honest about it. It was more than just not being clumsy either. It was like they actually reset themselves occasionally. Ready to kill him if he made a mistake.

  Though how he was supposed to betray anyone while eating his breakfast, Ben couldn't see.

  The man, Kyle, got out of the way, and when Ben settled on the wooden front steps, the top of the three that were there, lowered himself to be next to him. Like they were supposed to talk.

  "So, Ben." The words held an odd quality to them. Relaxed, but commanding. Like this man knew he was in charge, but wanted to pretend that they were just buddies, chatting over the first meal of the day. "You'll be a few days coming back to the world. After that we have some testing for you. Aptitude things, to see what kind of work will be the most fulfilling for you. Also some genetic tests. Would you be all right going over to our medical office later and giving some samples? Blood and hair, that kind of a thing. You won't have to pee into a cup or anything annoying like that."

  The delivery was good, and the man seemed to be saying that he could refuse, if he wanted too. That didn't make any sense however, if he were supposed to be getting genetic modifications. That kind of data would be more than needed, being crucial. Again, he'd gotten that from Glenda, but this new man wouldn't know all of that.

  "Sure. I don't know where that is, but I can go after I eat?" He took a bite of the cool melon, which had a slightly musky flavor to it as he chewed. Sweet too, but nothing like the watermelon of the day before. The piece was large, and he had two of them, right there on the same plate. That didn't mean he bolted his food however, since he'd been warned not to. "Or I can go now?"

  The thought of not getting to eat left him feeling a little bit sad, he realized. After going without for so long, hunger had faded to almost nothing. Now, well, he was starting to feel stronger already, but that ache in his middle had come back as well. Thankfully the older man waved at him a bit, as if that, missing his food, wasn't needed.

  "Oh, you have all day for it. I just wanted to suggest it, as an option. The truth is that you going into the deprivation room for that long... It took everyone by surprise. To be honest, no one really knows how you'll respond now, so we're planning to go carefully with you. Not that we live and die by plans here. Being fluid is more our way." He waited then, calmly, as Ben slowly finished his food, then took the tray back, and moved inside.

  That was, clearly, so that Ben could wash his hands and face. The man didn't say that, but it was so obvious that it p
ractically screamed off of him.

  "Yes. Micha mentioned that part to me. That you're rather attuned, psychically? This current sensitivity is probably linked to the isolation, and will fade back to whatever is normal for you, over time. My guess would be a few days. Not much longer than that. We'll need to make up a program for you, so you can learn to use that ability, after we strengthen it. If we do. It might prove useful, but there are other considerations." He moved the plate a bit, gesturing toward the door subtly, smiling again as Ben moved. "We need to get to morning exercises. Each day we have four hours of meditation, practice, and group activities. You'll be walked through them, and no one expects you to do them all yet. They aren't hard, but if you feel overwhelmed at any point, you can just walk outside. Don't be shy about it. Shall we?"

  The walk wasn't that long of one, being only about ten minutes down a dirt path. They moved in silence, but Ben was keenly aware of a sense of being watched, as the rather cute Micha came up behind them. She was just walking as well, but still managed to move nearly twice the speed that he and the older man were. Even if she'd seemed friendly and kind of chipper the night before, she didn't greet them now. Not with more than a look and a smile. What she did do was move past them. Carefully.

  It wasn't remarked upon. Kyle didn't even hurry his own steps, in order to prevent them from being late. He simply moved sedately toward a very large building, one that was probably large enough to hold a thousand people in chairs, and held the door open for Ben when they got there. It was different than what the cabins had. Those were made of wood, and seemed just heavy enough to keep the wind out. This one was heavy, made of metal, and connected with hinges that were well oiled, but still made noise as they moved.

  The walls looked almost normal, but were a bit too thick, really. Inside there was almost no sound, but there were nearly a hundred bodies, all sitting on pads around the place. Most had their legs bent around in a painful looking fashion, which he understood to be the order of the day. Kyle moved in, and pointed at one of the pads. It was, like the others, a soft blue gray color and seemed very large for the sitting that people were doing. Not all that soft either.

  At the front of the room was a statue, of an elephant, which held a single stick of incense in its trunk. Everyone in the place was watching it, or the smoke, carefully.

  "Observe. Think only of the movement there. If anything else comes, set it aside, and turn your thoughts back to the movement." Kyle spoke gently, and no one glared at them over it. Even if the place kind of seemed like no one should be speaking at all.

  Ben surprised himself, kind of managing the task. More or less. He wasn't a master of meditation, it was clear, since he still moved and fidgeted more than the others, unable to get totally comfortable on the hard pad. Most of his time was spent on the actual task however, and not thinking about hamburgers.

  He wasn't even thinking about having sex with Micha too much. Not that he was going to get to. It was a nice idea however. After all, she'd already won him over by being cute and energetic. Weird, but everyone in this place was that, at least a little. The idea that she was really psychic was a bit hard to swallow, since everyone had always hinted that kind of thing was fake.

  After a while, as the smoke died from the jumbo sized incense stick, everyone moved. They all stood up, so being a good cult drone, Ben decided to follow along. Thankfully there was a person, a slight woman, who looked flexible and not all that youthful, up at the front, describing to him what was needed.

  "Focus on moving only your right index finger, letting it curl under. Relax everything around it." Her voice was smooth, and soft. So he did his best to follow the instructions.

  After all, this was probably the part of things where he learned about whatever god they were supposed to worship. Thankfully, that didn't come up. It was just a slow movement of each muscle of his body, and learning to control it. One by one.

  After that there was yoga like stretching, which was more dynamic, and then everyone started doing something different that involved tensing up different muscles. One at a time again, and hard, but he didn't really understand what everyone was doing. They looked funny, but not much worse than they had during the rest of the event. He tried doing it, but from the gasping and heavy breathing going on, Ben clearly really wasn't getting the same thing done as everyone else.

  As soon as that part was over, they were done for the day it seemed. At least people started to leave, and Kyle smiled at him, speaking again. Other than the leaders, no one had spoken through the entire event. It had been eerie, to be honest. Creepy.

  The older man in gray made a bit of a face, clearly trying to seem more animated than he felt.

  "You get actual lessons on the contractile exercises. Until then it won't really make much sense to you. In a few days however. They're a bit too taxing for the time being. Now, I need to get to some paperwork. I..." He looked around, clearly trying to find someone to dump Ben on.

  Micha just walked over, and patted him on the shoulder.

  "I have him. Medical first, then over to processing for the first of the tests?"

  Kyle looked at her closely for a moment, and then nodded.

  "You know, that is most annoying. The mind reading thing. Effective, but I could do without my whole life being at your mercy." He winked however, and moved off, as if to let them know that it was fine with him if poor Ben was left at the mercy of the clearly insane girl.

  She nodded at him, and gave him a small tug to set him into motion. As they got toward the door, most of the others being gone already, the small woman let out a gust of air.

  "The twin problems of being a psychic here. There aren't a lot of us, but everyone knows that we're real, and that we're actually good at what we do. It really is kind of close to being insane, by the way. Everyone kind of distrusts us. I mean, I hear that. Almost everyone here is shy about being monitored all the time. It's why we're here, really. That or some great wrong. You don't devote everything to something like this on a whim. Even the government spies are pretty committed to being here."

  The girl was the chatty sort, at least when it was allowed, so kept going as Ben was led out into the world. The sun was actually bright now, being near noon. Probably time for him to eat again soon. He could wait, but it already sounded nice. Even if it was just more melon.

  "A lot of people have some kind of psychic ability, naturally. In the main it isn't all that useful. I mean, good for finding things, or knowing what street not to turn down, but nothing big. About one in a hundred have enough of that kind of thing to make a difference to their lives. The thing there is that most don't really realize it, or if they do, they don't think it's all that special." She pointed to a building ahead of them on the left. Clearly meaning that it was where they were going. The place was bigger than his cabin, but not vast or anything.

  It was a dark, rather flat, green color, with a shingled roof. One story, but so far he hadn't noticed anyplace that had more than that in the compound. Even the large gym, or whatever they called the place they did their morning exercises in, only had the one level, as far as he could see.

  "The real deal though isn't about making someone psychic. We can do that. That kind of thing can be set to on pretty easily, if you have the right kind of lab. There are five or six small genetic changes that turn that kind of thing on. The real trick is making sure that the person that we do that to can handle it, mentally. So far all of the psychics have gone insane after a while. It's different than you would guess at, once you have it. It hurts, for one thing. Inside your head?"

  Just as she got to that news, she opened the door to the medical place, and patted his back again.

  "Keep that in mind. It might be one of the real keys to winning against the feds, but no one has made it so far. Not past five years. I'm only two and a half into this thing, and..." She smiled at him then, pushing him into the new building. "I'm probably about to lose it. Maybe not. I made two days in the room. So far everyone
that has done that has been able to hold out longer than anyone else. That might mean I can make it. Long term even."

  Two days. The thought hung there between them, and she didn't explain at all, just gesturing at a man who looked dour, and slightly annoyed to see them. Like he sucked lemons as a hobby. It was a strange thing to think, and not one that Ben normally would have. Micha laughed a bit and shook her head at him.

  "Clyde? This is Ben Epson. The new guy. Kyle wants a full genetic work up. So, it's prodding and poking time."

  The man looked at them like they smelled bad, and then nodded. Really, he seemed to be most engaged with ignoring Micha, for some reason.

  "This way then. Hurry. I have other things to do, you know." He moved quickly. Enough so that it seemed special. Possibly like some kind of genetically enhanced ability.

  That was what he was considering when Micha slapped his back again, moving him toward the back, where the man had scurried.

  "Drugs. Clemastine, I think? It makes the user smarter, and more energetic. I mean, it pushes them to get things done and be really task oriented. The drawback is that it turns the people using it into assholes. They don't mean to be, and aren't really that sensitive about what is said, but they kind of lose the ability to recall that other people have emotions too."

  Instead of yelling at her, the sour man snorted a bit, and managed a weak smile.

  "All true enough. Come on. We do need to hurry." Then, taking out a kit that looked more like it was designed to get information from him than anything else, the fellow started to stab, pluck, swab and shave things off of Ben in a way that felt painful and dangerous half the time.

  There was a bit more meanness to the whole thing than was needed, and, after it was done, the fellow, Clyde, just started to wave at them. Not in a friendly way, either.