Crayons Read online

  He nodded.

  “Alright. I... really, if you're playing a game with me, just tell me now, OK? I, it would be too much to have this pulled away as a joke. It doesn't seem real. Probably because we're standing in the dark. Hard to see your expressions this way. If you're standing there with a big grin ready to tell me what a moron I am... now's the time to say so.”

  “That's just so you can't see how ugly I look when I cry. Be right down, I promise.” She sounded sincere, which kind of set him back for a second. Was this really happening or just a game? Maybe even a normal game girls played that someone like him just wasn't savvy enough to have heard of?

  Backing up Josh finally hit the door and let himself out quickly. He felt... good, even if she never spoke to him again, it had been worth telling her. It would still be hard to take, but just hearing the words, “I love you too” made him feel a little like he was floating.

  On his way down the stairs Bill Banister came charging up at him, as promised, looking half ready to break something. On him if the initial glance was correct. The man was big, a few inches taller than he was but about fifty pounds heavier, maybe more. All fat. Beefy he'd heard such men called. He stopped on the stairs and narrowed his eyes for a second then smiled.

  “OK, so I don't have to go all “father of the year” on you and drag you off my daughter. Good man. How is she?”

  For a person he'd last heard described as a jerk, the guy sounded concerned enough and in a half pleasant way even. Plus his mom's boss. Worth being polite to. Not that Josh wouldn't have anyway. “She said she needed to get ready and would be down to the party in... Well first she said a while, and didn't sound hopeful about the odds of it being speedy, I guess we should go by that?” Josh smiled happily enough. It was all true.

  He tried not to think about Amy's lips on his, the tingle of them still lingered along with the taste of peppermint. Still standing in front of her step-dad was not the time to reminisce about that, was it? Not if he wanted to ever be allowed to speak to her again.

  The man let him walk down the stairs and led him back to the party, pointing out the buffet, and suggesting that he get a bite to eat, since it was going to be a long night.

  “These things can last until mid-morning at times. I hoped having the kids here would close it down early, but I promise nothing, a lot of people left the kids at home.” The man slapped him on the back, which didn't make him move much, though he tensed under the blow slightly.

  “Whoah! You've got some muscle under that jacket, play any sports?” It was just an attempt to make conversation, but annoying, since Josh very badly wanted to try and mentally capture the feeling of Amy against him, just in case this was a onetime thing and she came to her senses.

  He mentioned possibly going out for track, but stayed vague about the whole thing. Bill either got bored talking to him or realized he wasn't mentally present, either way he let him go a few minutes later to get some food, even though he really wasn't hungry. Not now. He walked over, plate in hand to his mom who stood next to a very pretty woman, holding her hand.

  It was Joanie, but she looked... good. Really good. Enough so that he almost felt bad about not taking up that offer to shower with her earlier, before he knew everything, even if it had been a joke.

  She looked at him and smiled, waving as he closed with them. She held a drink in her other hand, champagne he thought, by the shape of the glass, but Josh wouldn't know the difference between that and sparkling cider or ginger ale. It just wasn't a thing he had experience with. His mother was drinking something that looked more soda like, which was good if she was driving them home. He hated dying in fiery crashes. It was actually number seven on his list of things he hated most, right below showing up at school naked and having to take a test. Talk about distracting.

  Though he could drive if it came to that.

  They chatted for a while, people joining them as he mainly listened and spoke only when spoken too or if the subject was one he knew well. So given the crowd, Josh just stood and waited for the most part, finishing his plate of food and putting it down on the little cart to be taken to the kitchen for cleaning. An hour later Amy still hadn't come down and he kind of figured that she was just going to ditch him.

  After all, she loved him too?

  Maybe she'd thought they were just doing improv? That was... possible, they made a good team that way and always had. It would be very like her to figure she needed to catch the scene he'd laid out and run with it. When another half hour passed, he knew that must have been what happened. Ah, well, at least she'd kissed him. It was something worth holding on to, even if it had only been make believe.

  An arm went around his back as he stood talking to several people that laughed with Joanie while his mother had been pulled off into a much more serious conversation with a man that was planning a third run for congress and actually stood some chance of winning it seemed. Incumbents did that after all.

  He spun, expecting to see Amy, but it was Laura Banister. She held him a little tighter to her side than was strictly needed, right breast pressing into him. Cozier than what was comfortable, since they didn't know each other at all.

  “Josh dear, Amy wanted me to make sure you didn't get away. Slight wardrobe malfunction. Meridith borrowed her dress. She wanted me to assure you that it won't be too much longer.” This all got whispered into his ear, nearly as sweetly as what Amy had done earlier, except the scent of alcohol wasn't there with her, just peppermint. Laura was more than a little drunk. That explained the fact that she'd rubbed up against his chest with her breast while talking to him at least. She didn't stay long, just taking off after that, but Joanie gave her a funny look as she walked away.

  “Hmmm. What did she say?” She raised an eyebrow at him, suspicious for some reason.

  “Well...” he started to explain as the room half quieted, and turned. Amy was walking down the stairs. She looked... Wonderful.

  More lovely than he'd ever seen her.

  Her dress was plain, green and black, velvet, but not fancy, her make-up was a little pale and as she passed Meridith he could tell that her sister was better looking than she was. It didn't matter. His heart wasn't confused at all about who it wanted. It had chosen Amy and meant to have her if at all possible.

  He just didn't believe it could be.

  “She told me about this.” He said softly, walking as if in a dream toward his friend. He took her hands when he got to her, and she smiled radiantly. She was a good actress... but he could tell, it was acting. She was faking part of this that he couldn't explain. Probably the interest in someone like him.

  That... well, for right now he'd leave it. She hadn't promised him anything and if she liked him well enough not to let him be embarrassed about the whole night, Josh putting his love out there like that, it was worth something, right?

  He led her back to where Joanie stood, Mercy having excused herself to come over too, once she saw what was happening, a questioning look on her face.

  It felt awkward, but thrilling, and Josh spoke softly, not knowing for certain what to say, but nearly bursting with a desire to say it.

  Looking at Amy, his hand gesturing toward his mother first, “this is my mother, Mercy and her girlfriend Joanie,” he looked at the girl who held his hand still, far more tightly than he'd have expected, acting or not. She smiled at him.

  “Hi Joan, Ms. Harding. How is everything?” She sounded polite and like she knew them both pretty well.

  Joanie practically sputtered, “you're Amy? The one that Josh loves?”

  A part of the room got very quiet then and Mercy looked hugely embarrassed, but Amy just nodded.

  “I believe I actually am, isn't that incredible?”

  Chapter five

  The rest of the evening passed in a warm haze, at least for Josh. For some reason Amy stayed by his side for the whole thing, holding his hand a little desperately, as if she were afraid he'd get away or something as if the actual danger wa
sn't the exact opposite. Well, it still worked. Josh marveled at it, when he could pry his eyes off of her.

  People either didn't seem to notice, or if they did, couldn't be bothered with the goings on of a couple of kids. Well, almost no one noticed. Laura, Amy's mom, she noticed and kept smiling at him slyly, and Joanie, for all she was more than a little tipsy, seemed to get it too. Mercy had gone back to the congressman along with Bill Banister. That wasn't surprising. What was a bit odd was that she stopped and gave all of them hugs before she walked back.

  Joanie gave them both a saucy smile then.

  “I didn't even guess you were the same Amy. Of course I haven't had time to process everything today. I remember you saying you went to Shilo and were in drama, but...” She staggered toward them just a little.

  “But I thought you were dating that girl?” She whispered, as if it were a big secret.

  Amy winced hard and went a little pale.

  “Ah...” Amy looked around the room, possibly for a military ambush. She actually looked worried about the whole idea. “I...”

  Her gaze ended on him though, panicked it seemed. As if whatever that situation was it couldn't be exposed to the room.

  Josh thought about it. Would it bother him if she'd had a girlfriend? Yes. Just because he wanted her for himself thought. It would be harder if she actually liked girls, at least exclusively. He couldn't match that at all. Came with the wrong parts totally if that was the case. Finally he just shrugged.

  “Secret Joanie.” He said softly, not knowing if it was or not. She giggled and nodded.

  “Alright, but you both have to fill me in later, we all have too many secrets around here.” She gave Amy a hug too. “So what have you been up to?”

  The story, as it worked out over the next twenty minutes, was pretty basic. Bill was the head partner in the firm and liked the idea of his step-daughters having a good work ethic, so Amy had been given a job as an intern the past summer, working mainly with Joanie. Filing and running things to the courthouse. Meridith, who was a year older, had worked with the senior receptionist. He did find out that the “girlfriend” was Sarah Teasdale, which baffled him slightly, but he tried not to let all that show. It so wasn't his business, was it? Curiosity ate at him over it, but...

  Yeah, he'd live.

  If nothing else that didn't seem to be a factor anymore and Amy had dated guys since, right? As long as she hadn't broken up with them for not being girls...

  After about an hour of soft and sloppy grilling and three more sessions of Laura Banister coming over and groping him, a little more adventurously each time, as if her own daughter wasn't holding on to him more tightly each time, Amy finally chuckled and excused them both.

  “I could use some fresh air?” She said softly, looking at him imploringly.

  Since his own political ambitions were pretty minor, not having any, and the only thing in the room he wanted to pay attention to at all was Amy, he just smiled and nodded. It would be just as easy to do outside.

  “Good idea...”

  They had to walk out past Laura who managed to “accidentally” grab his behind on the way, which made Amy turn red and grit her teeth.

  “Mom. Cut it out.” The words were low, barely something that could be heard even standing next to her.

  “Whatever do you mean?” The woman said innocently enough that Josh wondered for a second if the grabbing had been just a clumsy mistake after all. Amy didn't buy it however. She smiled, but it had a brittle edge to it and leaned in.

  “If you ruin this for me...” Was all she said though. She glared at the older woman hard, pinning her with it. Her eyes weren't exactly the same color as her hair, a little more of a burnt amber instead of the lighter tone up top, but they were marvelous for giving someone the eye, Josh noticed, looking at her staring instead of the older woman.

  Like the eyes of a hawk.

  Wicked in the moment.

  Technically her mom was at least as pretty as she was, if older. He just didn't care at the moment. If the woman had gotten to her knees naked in front of him he wasn't really sure it would have impacted him mentally just then.

  Well, OK, it would have, he admitted to himself, but not as much as it would have even a day before. Amy was holding his hand. It was all he could do not to smile like a freak and start clapping in joy. Maybe he'd save that for later? Josh fought a smile from his lips and tried to look serious. Amy did after all.

  They worked their way past, the older woman not grabbing at him again at least, and moved into the chill night air. It was almost a little too cold for being out at all, and would be in a moment he realized, but Amy led him around the far side of the building to the garage walkway, which had a single door along its length. When she pulled him in a sudden heat washed over him.

  “Bill likes to keep the cars warm at night. Waste of energy, but it's his money.” Without any more talking she pulled him close again, her body feeling a little chill against him, clinging tightly.

  “I'm sorry. I should have gotten you to go home or at least warned you first. Um, my mom, she gets like that when she drinks. Or if she thinks one of us isn't around to guard our territory. Meaning boyfriends. That's why I kind of dated Sarah last summer, to try and get mom to back off. She doesn't like girls, but that... I think Sarah really likes me, it made it hard. She's my best friend, I didn't want to hurt her, but it was complicated...” The arms closed tighter.

  Responding in kind he just held her for a few minutes, trying to enjoy the feeling of her, the scent of her hair. He was just enough taller than she was that her head came to about eye level. It was funny, but he'd always thought of her as taller, magnifying her in his mind. Probably that pedestal he put her on all the time. She smelled nice, like some kind of fruit and flower combination.

  Finally, not wanting to really talk he shrugged a bit.

  “She's just playing around, your mom. I'd guess at least.” What else could it be? Really hitting on her daughter's friends was a bit strange, right? Making a move on Josh even more so.

  Amy hmphed and stood back a half step.

  “She... Slept with Anthony.” She said, her voice close to rage filled suddenly. “I kind of knew it was going to happen, but I couldn't believe he'd do it, I thought he at least respected me a little, but he just did and... I...” She started crying and hugged him again.

  Josh stared into the darkness. That, if it was true and he had no reason to suspect she'd lie about something like that, was awful. What could he say though? If there were words to make it better he didn't know them. It would have been bad enough if her sister had done it, but her own mother? Eek.

  After about fifteen minutes she whispered to him softly, the sobbing had stopped and she had her mouth nearly to his ear.

  “Promise me you won't do that too.”

  “Of course not. For one thing she's married which would be enough to stop anything right there, hormones coming into play or not. Among the fifteen or more other reasons it would be a horrible idea.” He held her a bit closer, just because she might realize at any time that her current emotions were a bit raw and that she didn't really like him at all or something.

  “But I do promise. Even if this all turns out to be a dream or something. I take my word pretty seriously, you know?” What else could he say?

  Nothing else seemed to be needed, because she leaned into him and let her lips find his again. This time he stiffened a little at the groin, which wasn't exactly unexpected, but since he didn't know what the actual situation was, could be a bit embarrassing. The space was dim, but had some tiny lights along the ceiling, he could see her and her eyes locked on his tightly.

  “I... really, right now I can't date anyone. I just... can't.” She looked down and away then back at him with a sigh. “But I don't want to mess this chance up either. Can we... I don't know, be friends for now? I...”

  He felt a little sad suddenly. Mainly for her. People had messed up so much that she didn't feel like s
he could have anyone safely. That sucked. The sadness must have shown on his face or something because she started to withdraw, her face closing down. He didn't know what to do, if it were a television show he'd grab her, kiss her hard and say something about ruining their friendship, but the fact was that he really didn't have a plan for any of this now. Everything had taken him by surprise.

  “Well...” He said, trying to sound playful. “I guess so, I will miss the kissing though. But if you want to be just friends, then, yeah. Whatever you need. Pretty much always.”

  Amy laughed and moved back into him, then kissed his lips lightly again.

  “Oh, that part we can do. No problem.”

  Then they did, for a long time. They exchanged numbers and made plans for the next day, to meet up and do something. Almost anything would do as far as he was concerned. She seemed to agree, since she really wasn't going to want to be in the house for a while. For a second Josh almost asked why, but then it hit him. Her mother had slept with her boyfriend. That would pretty much do it. What a huge betrayal of trust.

  They wondered in a bit later, Amy making sure he didn't have any lipstick on his collar or face and then sneaking off to make sure her own face looked fine. It was, she assured him, a girl thing.

  “So tomorrow, I mean, if you still want to?” She said, sounding like he'd change his mind. That was silly of her... but sweet. No presumption that she was the one just being nice to the weird kid, even if it was the truth. Another sign of her innate splendor no doubt. Josh smiled.

  “Noon at my place?” The address had already been given and while he felt a little embarrassed about how tiny it was, well, if she cared about that he'd find out, wouldn't he? It wasn't a money issue after all, his mom just hadn't cared to move yet.

  “I love you.” She whispered just as they walked in, her face... happy.

  “I love you.” He replied, a warm feeling in his stomach, one that reached into his chest. He hugged her again. “I really hope this is...” He said softly. Realizing that there was no good way to finish the line. He meant real, but if it wasn't, did he want to know yet? If it was a dream, did he want to wake up?